Go ahead, you can laugh all you want...

Posted on Monday, July 17, 2006

A few people have been asking me why I have been so quiet lately.
The simple answer is I think about stuff. A lot.
So I figured I may as well 'fess up to what it's been that has been keeping me up of late.
There are two things (At least that I am willing to talk about in a public forum) that are really causing me some quandary at the moment.

Number 1 - The struggle for integrity
Two of the corner stone concepts for integrity are loyalty and independence. The way to reconcile the two however, is not as clear to me.
Loyalty I think we can all agree has to do with maintaining a faithful, fair and equal allegiance with you family, friends and peers. No real problems there. I think of all the things I would want people to consider me, loyal would have to come up often and strongly.
Then comes independence, being able to act beyond the influence of others, be they person or establishment. Things start to become a bit difficult for me here. Up until recently I have always considered myself to be entirely autonomous in my actions. I still believe that I only have to answer to myself for them. Loyalty however can be confounder to independence, in that to maintain independence, sometimes you have to do things your loyalties do not want you to.
Unfortunately I find a reputation for integrity is ultimately what I should be aiming for both professionally and personally.
Just how does one maintain loyalty yet still attain integrity?
If any of you can work that one out and explain it to me in small words, I would be very grateful.

Number 2 - Acceptance, not belligerence
I have not yet been able to sort this issue/concept out in my head, so my attempt in words may be a bit askew.
Belief systems can be very emotive and hold great sway in how we relate to each other. Unfortunately this can at times lead to what is effectively a culture clash. I have never been unable to understand why two belief systems should have such difficulties co-existing. I find it very frustrating when values are used as reasons for this. I refuse to believe that different values can not result in effectively the same person.
To over simplify, 3 + 2 makes 5, 4 + 1 makes 5, ni and san make go. Different values, same result, different names for the same values, still the same result.
What I am trying to say here is that there are a lot of you out there, that I happen to care for and love very much, who also happen to have beliefs that are extremely different to my own. I don't want any of you thinking that I think any less of you just because we see things differently.
If anything, I admire and respect you more, for holding onto your beliefs with such conviction and desire such strength of conviction for myself.
What I want is acceptance of my views and reassurance that you don't think I am belligerent towards you because your values differ. I still believe with all my heart that the sum of our parts are equal.
I hope that wasn't too clumsy, as I said, I haven't quite sorted it out yet. Again if anyone thinks they get the drift of what I'm trying to say, and can explain it to me so I understand it a bit better, I'd appreciate it.

Alright, amateur philosophy time is over. Back to med study.

Peace out.

Grim (^_^)


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