Panic at 2000mm

Yesterday was a fun moment for me. It still only ranks as number 2 on the most shit-scared I've ever been list, but I did not enjoy it.

Picture if you will, a bunch of SCUBA nuts going through the usual self flagilation that is emergency preparation manouvres. Stuff like taking your gear off then putting it back on under water, flooding your mask then clearing it, swiming across the pool without a mask etc.

It's been ten years since I last dived, so it was a steep learning curve for me. Things have actually changed in that time.

Anyway, we had gotten to the bit where you motion that you're out of air and take your buddy's emergency second stage (they're no longer called an octopus for some reason). I had already gone through this one with Charmaine the night before, so I wasn't too fazed, even though I have forgotten all but the most rudementary hand signals.

I swim over to the divemaster I am buddied with, and signal that I am out of air.
He just looks at me blankly. I signal again I am out of air and I need to grab his ocky. Again he looks at me blankly, so I just grab it off him. While I am trying to grab it, it's get's snagged on his jacket. He helps untangle it, and I put it in my mouth. By this point I think I am fine and have spat out my 2nd stage. I put the ocky in my mouth, take a breath and...

Water!

The bloody thing is malfunctioning and not delivering air! I spit it out, he sort of shakes it and hands it back to me. I am starting to get a bit upset, cause what sort of self-respecting dive master doesn't ensure his emergency air supply isn't malfunctioning?

I put it back in my mouth and try to take another breath. More bloody water!

I take about three breaths of water, because I am starting to get desperate and start looking at the other people in the pool for help: I look at the instructor, my sister, then up at the surface.

We had just finished a 2 hour theory session about how all the worst accidents happen in diving when someone swims to the surface in a panic. I did not want to be that person, but I was quickly coming to the point where I could either risk popping a lung or two, I could stay down with them hoping they get that the ocky only delivered water and I am desperately screwed, or drown.

As you could see, none of those options really appealed to me. It was down to about 5 secs from taking my chances with a popped lung when the instructor realised what was going on. I was desperately trying to recover my second stage, and not succeeding cause it was on a shorter hose than I had been used to, when he grabbed it for me and handed it to me. I was so paniced by this stage I thought he was handing me his ocky. It wasn't until I had ripped through about 10 breaths and could start to breathe normally that I realized it was my own mouthpiece that he'd handed me. The instructor then pointed out with hand signs that I had grabbed the divemaster's ocky upside down, and that was why it was delivering only water.

He then motioned for me to try again. I shook my head quite emphaticly. I then somehow managed to force myself to stay underwater for the rest of the exercises. Ten minutes later, we surfaced, they all looked at me and I said,

I'm just going to sit on the edge of the pool for a while, you guys just keep on doing you thing. I need a moment.

Yep. I almost killed myself yesterday... At least I learnt not to try and breathe through an upside down ocky. Bring on the ocean exercises *shudder*

See ya'll again real soon.

Grim (^_^)

Beer and Hate

I hate, that thanks to the combination of the most horrible two weeks of my life, trying to juggle studying to succeed in my life, and the confused jealous manipulation of a girl that I thought I loved, I can not enjoy listening to the best CD of one of my favourite bands that I bought at the time.
Thanks for that Anna. You ruined Sigur Ros' Agaetis Byrjun for me.

Kids, don't drink and blog.

It just makes you angry.

Birthday boy attacked by ballons

Birthday boy attacked by ballons
Originally uploaded by graum.

Tradgedy struck once again when the ballon-bot's escaped their parallel dimension prison and wrecked their vengence on a poor innocent birthday boy.

A rose amoungst the thorns

A rose amoungst the thorns
Originally uploaded by graum.

Maybe not the most original of titles, but it's close enough to the truth :P
Or maybe, just maybe it a promo shot of the new band? who knows...

"I think the spiniker is luffing..."

"I think the spiniker is luffing..."
Originally uploaded by graum.

Now that's realism in cake-istry. Fantastic job Kat and Leanne!

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want...

A few people have been asking me why I have been so quiet lately.
The simple answer is I think about stuff. A lot.
So I figured I may as well 'fess up to what it's been that has been keeping me up of late.
There are two things (At least that I am willing to talk about in a public forum) that are really causing me some quandary at the moment.

Number 1 - The struggle for integrity
Two of the corner stone concepts for integrity are loyalty and independence. The way to reconcile the two however, is not as clear to me.
Loyalty I think we can all agree has to do with maintaining a faithful, fair and equal allegiance with you family, friends and peers. No real problems there. I think of all the things I would want people to consider me, loyal would have to come up often and strongly.
Then comes independence, being able to act beyond the influence of others, be they person or establishment. Things start to become a bit difficult for me here. Up until recently I have always considered myself to be entirely autonomous in my actions. I still believe that I only have to answer to myself for them. Loyalty however can be confounder to independence, in that to maintain independence, sometimes you have to do things your loyalties do not want you to.
Unfortunately I find a reputation for integrity is ultimately what I should be aiming for both professionally and personally.
Just how does one maintain loyalty yet still attain integrity?
If any of you can work that one out and explain it to me in small words, I would be very grateful.

Number 2 - Acceptance, not belligerence
I have not yet been able to sort this issue/concept out in my head, so my attempt in words may be a bit askew.
Belief systems can be very emotive and hold great sway in how we relate to each other. Unfortunately this can at times lead to what is effectively a culture clash. I have never been unable to understand why two belief systems should have such difficulties co-existing. I find it very frustrating when values are used as reasons for this. I refuse to believe that different values can not result in effectively the same person.
To over simplify, 3 + 2 makes 5, 4 + 1 makes 5, ni and san make go. Different values, same result, different names for the same values, still the same result.
What I am trying to say here is that there are a lot of you out there, that I happen to care for and love very much, who also happen to have beliefs that are extremely different to my own. I don't want any of you thinking that I think any less of you just because we see things differently.
If anything, I admire and respect you more, for holding onto your beliefs with such conviction and desire such strength of conviction for myself.
What I want is acceptance of my views and reassurance that you don't think I am belligerent towards you because your values differ. I still believe with all my heart that the sum of our parts are equal.
I hope that wasn't too clumsy, as I said, I haven't quite sorted it out yet. Again if anyone thinks they get the drift of what I'm trying to say, and can explain it to me so I understand it a bit better, I'd appreciate it.

Alright, amateur philosophy time is over. Back to med study.

Peace out.

Grim (^_^)

Random crotch shot

Random crotch shot
Originally uploaded by graum.

The eternal quandry: If it's accidental, is it still art?

Upper Stoney Creek

Upper Stoney Creek
Originally uploaded by graum.

Something vague about nature... Can't remember what...

Bailey's flavoured X-Trail

Bailey's flavoured X-Trail
Originally uploaded by graum.

Unfortunate license plate there...

Dougal is not a Cherub

Dougal is not a Cherub
Originally uploaded by graum.

You take the kids out for a day in the bush, and this is how they behave...

Byfield By Blog

Okie dokie.
I just got out of the shower after returning from the Byfield camping trip. I feel about 150% better for it too.
Lots of piccies as you can see. I am surprised how good they came out. It's amazing the difference turning off you flash on overcast days can make to your pictures.
The trip out was fun, and I'm going to be frankly honest, Dougal was right, I went with the girls because they are the much prettier option. It was getting a bit dark by our arrival though, so the tenst had to go straight up before we lost all the light.
Of course, drinks and squeals started pretty much at the same time. Fast forward to 11:30pm, when angry pan banging van man came down and started bellowing at us to shut up of he'd cut our tent's down with chain-saws. I would of thought one would have sufficed, but I disgress.
He was totally right about the noise we were making, as I am certain there are a few dazed bats still trying to walk home after being hit by Kristy's laugh last night. Van guy was totally off his rocker though, and a more introspective man probably would have thought twice about threatening a group of 13 tanked strangers on his own.
Fast forward to this morning, with most of the group on the other side of the creek eating breakfast. One person was still in one of the tents sleeping, when angry van guy stopped on his way out to tip a bottle of Baileys over Lowe's car, Kat, Leanne and Micheal's tents. He has no idea how lucky he is the sleeping person wasn't drunk...
Other than the unpleasantness, it was a cool trip, with lost of star gazing and bonding and stuff.
Yeah, you heard me; Stuff.

Cheers!

Grim (^_^)

Yamata already!

I just finished wathing the Naruto movie, and I have to admit I should be ashamed of how easily I get teary at anime.
I was supposed to be out at Byfield camping today, but due to my own slackness at organising spots in cars out there, my gear is in Byfield, and I as of yet, am not. I'm due to be picked up in a couple of hours, so instead of using the spare time purely for self betterment (study) I thought it was about time I caught up with my favourite annoying ninja.
There's just something infectious about how earnest and hardworking he is.
Never give up, that is my way of the ninja.
Also something about never going back on a promise being my way of the ninja too. I think you can make the rest up for yourself yeah?
There's something in that for all of us really.
Anyway, I bought some fresh batteries for my camera, and it's out at Byfield as I type, so there should be some nice pics to add by tomorrow night. And also some diving trip pics in a couple of weeks.

Cheers!

Group Hug Moment #1

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Procrastic ambition

So here I am, working on a presentation on Systemic Lupus Erythematosus for the 3rd years, listening to Modest Mouse, Good News for People Who Love Bad News. Just gently chilling to the quiet anger.
As I was pulling out the CD, a piece of paper flipped out from underneath it and turned over showing the text:

Wednesday 21 June

Psychiatry: The cure of the id by the odd.



As Modest Mouse say:

"And we'll all float on OK..."