The Panaga Monkey Saga Continues.

I've just sat through one of the more difficult consultations here.
It involved a young lad with a similar name to a certain brit singer who likes to rock DJs and the one and only Miffy.
The email Rumor mill has been working overtime with the return of Miffy to Panaga. The young lad we saw today had been at the bar at the Panaga club and decided to show off to his mates and pat the monkey. It seems that Miffy is one of your new-age feminist monkies, and doesn't like being touched. So she went angel loving boy, and savaged him like the british paparatzi do to his namesake.
So here we were this morning, trying to explain to his concerned mother that whilst there having been no reported cases of rabies in Brunei itself, there are numerous reports of it in Sarawak. Which is literally on the other side of the river. So yes, the rabies shots he is taking are probably in his best interests. She went on to complain about how nothing has been done about Miffy.
Topher explained that they have caught Miffy, had people set her free, and even reloacted her back to the jungle. I say Miffy is one bright monkey to find her way back. Topher then went on to expalin that it is illegal to posses fire-arm in this country (possessing of arms - That's a hangin'). Thaat rule harks back to the 60s, when Brunei was considering becoming part of the Malaysian federation, and Sukarno, the Indonesian leader at the time, was unimpressed by this. He considered the Malaysian federation to be a brittish imperialist lapdog, and was actively hostile towards the idea. So much so that he started the small scale millitary campain of confrontation, and incited a small rebellion in Seria and Kuala Belait, supplyingback up troops to the disident locals. Of course as we know through history, the Ghurkas were called in from Singapore, crushed the rebellion, and followed the indonesian paratroopers into the jungle. Only the Ghurkas returned. Without prisoners. Anyway, as a result of the rebelion, Brunei has been under martial law, and thus the ban on arms. I say arms because it's even illegal to import swords.
So the only people in the country to posses firearms are the Ghurkas and Brittish officers. Topher explaind that had Miffy been a Che Gorrila (Communist Guerrila), the Ghurkas would shoot her on sight. But alas, she is not, and in Topher's own words, "The Struggle Continues"
After they had left, Topher showed me some of the emails he has been inudated with as the acting CMO of the health services, including one imploring him for guidence and direction on what to do about the situation. Of course i was most unhelpful and suggested an anonymous email should be sent stating that Miffy should be punished and someone should spank the monkey. Topher got that I was taking the piss, but some people are taking the Panaga Monkey Saga a littel to seriously.
Topher then told me a story about how a similar thing happend at a resort near Victoria falls in Africa, but this time it was baboons, rather than monkies attacking people, stealing food and even bikinis apparetly. Thing desintergrated to the point where the hotel had to employ regular baboon patrols, shooting them on site.
So that said and done, Some of us here have taken it upon ourselves to go on monkey partol on Thursday. I promise to 'shoot' Miffy on sight, and if you're lucky, I'll have a picture of another lucky monkey to display.

Cheers!